Someone suggested I write something positive about Hot Springs Village to post on social media, although I can’t imagine who would be interested…but anyway, here goes.
My essay is titled:
WHAT I DISLIKE ABOUT HOT SPRINGS VILLAGE
By Melinda Alvord
I could say “Nothing” and make this a very short essay, but that wouldn’t be true. There are things that bug me so in no particular order, here goes:
- Pollen
- Leaves
- Pokey Drivers
- Lack of Ice Cream stores
- Birds
- Chiggers
- Restaurants that close at 8 p.m.
- Rules
- Too many friends
BUT WAIT, you say, let’s take a closer look:
Pollen
- Pollen means it’s springtime and it also comes with living in a beautiful forest. I am so excited when the village starts budding out and each day it’s just a little greener. Power washing can be very satisfying as you watch the transformation from yellow to clean and then it’s all gone until next year!
Leaves
- Leaves means raking and raking means lots of physical exercise so I log a lot of miles on my Fitbit and I’m thankful that the POA lets me put out 25 bags every week and sometimes I even have a few more that they will haul away for me….plus I get to skip the gym for a couple of weeks.
Pokey Drivers
- Pokey Drivers means I’m still driving too and I hope I’ll be able to do that for myself for a very long time.
Ice Cream
- Ice Cream has been a major issue for me. Can’t even drive home from Walmart or Food Wise fast enough to get a quart into the freezer before it starts melting (see comment above about pokey drivers). But then I discovered ice cream by the pint/quart at Dollar General (East and West gates) and now joy-of-joys, our new TJ’s Neighborhood Market at Ponce and Desoto has an ice cream counter with real hand-scooped cones and a nice choice of flavors. Yea!!
Birds
- Birds poop on everything and they insist on building their nests in the most inconvenient places like under my boat or in the garage. Apparently, they don’t notice all the trees we have – geez! But that’s the price of rural living and those same birds make me smile every day.
Chiggers
- Chiggers – give all Villagers something to jointly grumble about and agree on….there’s nothing much redeeming to be said about them but it’s always interesting to hear peoples’ stories about what they discovered to get rid of them and how to avoid them. In fact, the positive about them is exactly that – we all bond in our dislike of them!
Restaurants that close early
- Restaurants that close early I’ve come to accept is an Arkansas thing and most definitely a Village thing. But there are a few that see the benefit of later hours, and we are grateful for them – keep in mind in many other parts of the world dining before 10:00 p.m. is considered uncivilized.
Rules
- Rules – I’m going to get a little “political” here, so get ready with the tar and feathers. I’d rather have them, than not have them, but when some get bent or ignored, unless it’s life-threatening, I can live with it and choose to get on with whatever I was doing. It doesn’t require that I immediately post something on Nextdoor or Facebook or write a letter to the Voice.
Friends
- Friends -Since coming to the village I’ve made so many friends, I can’t keep up. In fact, I’d like to see mandatory name tags at all public gatherings since I’m not so good with remembering names. I’ve got friends in all shapes and sizes, walks of life, political persuasions, social and cultural backgrounds (most everyone moved here from somewhere else, so that’s the usual ice breaker), and I even have friends on the Board and members of HSV staff. Doesn’t make me a cheerleader for anything in particular, it just makes me happy to call them all friends.
So that’s what I dislike about Hot Springs Village, but it’s my home and I love it.
by Melinda Alvord
Formatted by Cheryl Dowden
Mike Fleming
07/21/2019 — 3:18 pm
Well Melinda Alvord, that was a great post. You didn’t say one thing negative about those other bad peoples who oppose us. We can’t let them get too comfortable. So I guess it is my turn to keep them on their toes.
I’m just sick of all these people that have opinions that are not worth being considered. Dogs are nicer when they bite me. I don’t mind listening to some of these people but they think we are stupid. Well, that’s just an old wise tale. And let me tell you, they missunderestimate us. We didn’t just fall off a turnip wagon. No sir. That’s just cold as hell to say that. Durn wise acres. Folks, this ain’t rocket surgery. But we will burn that bridge when we come to it. They just haven’t heard the first of it. We will pre varicate before they get a chance to dispute our opinion. I’m from the old schoolyard. We didn’t take no crap but they are still using unsanitary conditions. I’m mad as hell and I’m not gonna stray from it anymore. They can’t have their cake and lay in it too. My message to them is you’ve buttered your bread on the wrong side one too many times. Guess I told them. That should put a monkey in their wrench.
Anonymous
07/21/2019 — 3:24 pm
Rat Finks
Anonymous
07/21/2019 — 3:28 pm
Made our ice cream melt. Rat finks
NittyGritty
07/21/2019 — 4:25 pm
TOP 12 REASONS TO RETIRE TO HOT SPRINGS VILLAGE ARkansas
1. Cost of living is lower than most other states, especially property taxes.
2. Icy and snowy weather is infrequent.
3. Hurricane evacuations are not an issue you might face here in old age.
4. Tornadoes are rare in Hot Springs Village.
5. Rolling hills rather than flat or steep terrain.
6. Spring water and creeks are plentiful.
7. Trees with song birds in them are abundant.
8. Village emergency clinics and Hot Springs hospitals.
9. Critical care hospital (& VA) within a helicopter ride or 45-minute drive.
10. Central location for RV trips.
11. Southern manners practiced by the majority.
12. Democraps are a minority. (Resnublicans are a majority.)
Bill
07/21/2019 — 8:33 pm
Excellent to the point comment!
NittyGritty
07/21/2019 — 9:38 pm
Thank you, Bill! And Thank you, Melinda Alvord!…I really enjoyed your humorous spin on why the Village is worth all of this fuss. (This, too, shall pass!) Your timing was perfection. I had just posted the exact same comment on city-data.com in reply to someone asking. My hope is that folks observing Hot Springs Village from the outside who are asking if they should consider Hot Springs Village for their retirement (and they are!) will see solid reasons worth their serious considerations and remember them. I am also hoping that all of the fair fighters currently residing in the village will be reminded why they should stay.
Melinda
07/21/2019 — 10:22 pm
Nitty Gritty, your point #10 is one of the main reasons we chose Arkansas and HSV… great central location for traveling all over the u.s., especially by RV. I’m excited to see that the POA has added an RV Discovery Package… this is an important demographic for our marketing.
Anonymous
07/21/2019 — 5:42 pm
Great essay. I love the twists. It was very witty and clever. I love Hot Springs Village but I don’t love my chigger neighbors. Thank you for writing this essay.
Melinda
07/21/2019 — 6:11 pm
Thank you! I’m glad you liked it.
John Dethardt
07/21/2019 — 5:48 pm
Thanks this was refreshing.
Melinda
07/21/2019 — 6:12 pm
I thought it might make someone’s day….hope it did for you.
Melinda
07/21/2019 — 6:13 pm
I thought it might make someone’s day….hope it did for you.
David
07/21/2019 — 7:52 pm
Your article made my day!
Anonymous
07/21/2019 — 9:37 pm
I liked your essay, very nice,well thought out one thing through Way Point has scoop ice cream and I believe ice cream sundaes just saying Great article
Melinda
07/21/2019 — 10:17 pm
Thanks for the heads up on Waypoint…. I’ll check it out on my next trip to the west side. We definitely need all the ice cream we can get!!!
Kirk Denger
07/21/2019 — 10:54 pm
Melinda, friends are people we can trust. It was overwhelming to greet you and Chuck sitting on the CCI side of the aisle at the Saline court House last month.
Frank Shears aka Bubba
07/23/2019 — 12:00 am
Excellent essay, Melinda. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Thank you for taking the time to compose and post it.