Bubba’s Review of the HSV Covenants and Restrictions Part 3
It was another beautiful morning in Hot Springs Village. It was sunny but VERY cold. Rambo needed to go outside to take care of some business making room for more doggie cookies that Anne cooked for him. Bubba was wearing his new Alpaca lined coat with hood up to keep his ears warm. Rambo was already warm because he came equipped with a built-in fur coat with fur ear-warmers and his ancestors were from the Shetland Islands in northern Scotland. They walked along uphill toward Fresno Rd with Bubba freezing his nose and toes and Rambo happy as could be about the cold. (Added by Cheryl: All the while, those dang HSV Protective Covenants were still in the back of Bubba’s mind.)
Rambo wanted to stop and sniff a lot of the trees alongside the street. He finally found a spot in the common property area and did his business. Bubba took a blue baggie from the pouch on Rambo’s collar and cleaned up the Rambo droppings.
Bubba Was Reminded of HSV Protective Covenants Regarding Vegetation in Setback
It somehow made Bubba think of that one HSV Protective Covenants about trees, shrubs or bushes over two feet tall prohibited in the “setback” which is several feet toward the house from the property line.
Rambo was very interested in one beautiful Camellia bush and Bubba wondered why, until the neighbors pet, Miss Kitty, took off like a streak from under the bush. That’s when the fun began. The cat was gone and out of sight by the time Rambo reached the end of his 10 foot long leash. But, it didn’t stop him from having one of his barking tantrums.
After the dust and leaves settled Bubba continued walking downhill toward home. He looked up and down the street and tried to count all the bushes and trees he could see that were too tall to be in the setback. There were too many to count. Oak trees and Pine trees were all over the place that were 50 feet tall or more. There were healthy bushes and hedges that were over three feet tall in almost every yard. There were also many different mature ornamental type trees in yards along the way. He remembered how pretty this street is in the Spring when everything starts to bloom.
Bubba Begins Review of HSV PC
When he got back to the house he dug out the PCs (HSV Protective Covenants) document to find out exactly what it said about
a. All structures must be set back from the lot boundaries as specified in Table 9.4-1, as illustrated in Tables 7.2-1 to 7.2-5, and as follows:
– i. Front specifies the setback from the front lot line.
– (1) Elements that project forward from frontage facades are permitted to encroach into front common setbacks as specified in Section 9.8.5.
– ii. Side Street specifies the setback from any side street lot lines.
– (1) In T5, where there are multiple structures on one lot, the Side Street maximum setback applies to only the nearest structure.
– (2) Elements that project forward from frontage facades are permitted to encroach into side street setbacks as specified in Section 9.8.5.
– iii. Side specifies the setback from any side lot lines.
– iv. Rear specifies the setback from the rear lot line, except where abutting an alley.
– v. Rear Alley specifies the setback from the rear lot line in instances that it abuts an alley.
– b. Structures and pools must be set back a minimum of 20 feet from property lines along lakes and golf courses.
– c. Structures may exceed maximum setbacks where required by existing utility easement location.
We Now Have Districts?
Bubba tried to figure out how to get through the maze of “as specified in Table 9.4-1, as illustrated in Tables 7.2-1 to 7.2-5” etc. So he went to Table 9.4.1 to see what it says. When he found it he thought, ‘Okay, now we’re getting somewhere’ because it spelled out the definition of the setback requirements for each District and building, uh….. Huh? Each district?
Bubba Discovers the Different Types of Districts
7.2.1. Development is regulated according to the intensity of use permitted on each parcel, according to the following districts:
a. T5: A high intensity mixed-use district, consisting of residential, commercial, and institutional uses.
b. T4: A medium intensity residential district, consisting of single family and multi-family housing, attached and detached, and home occupations.
c. T3.2: A low intensity residential district, consisting of single family detached housing situated on parcels between 5,400 and 20,000 sf in area.
d. T3.1: A low intensity residential district, consisting of single family detached housing situated on parcels between 20,000 and 217,800 sf in area.
e. T2: A very low intensity residential district, consisting of single family detached housing situated on parcels greater than 5 acres in area.
Okay, now we know what a district is according to the HSV PCs. It looked like this neighborhood had lots that are single-family detached housing on lots between 20,000 and 217,800 square feet in area. In other words, single- family houses on 1/4 to 1/3 acre lots. A quarter acre is approximately 21,120 sq ft. So 20,000 sq ft is a little less than a quarter acre. So his neighborhood is a T3.1 district. He wondered again why this was written to be so confusing.
Whew! A Lot for Bubba to Absorb!
Whew, that was a lot for poor ol’ Bubba’s simple mind to absorb and he wondered what it was he set out to do in the first place. Oh yes, he was trying to figure out what the set back is in his neighborhood. He went back to table 9.4.1 REQUIRED SET BACKS where it says:
District T3.1 = Dwellings; Front = 20 feet min; Side Street = 12 ft; Side = 12 ft; Rear = 24 ft.
Bubba was stunned! 20 feet from the street in front? No trees or bushes over 2 feet tall? Bubba hopes the compliance department has several cases of red-tags for setback violations. Just in the first 1/4 mile of his
Next Bubba wondered if there was any connection between these HSV Protective Covenants restrictions and the famous CMP the Board has been trying to shove down our throats. Uhhhh… I mean, the infamous CMP that the BoD has been telling us is so wonderful and will save the Village. So he opened up his secret copy of the CMP. Shhhh, don’t let anyone know he got it on the POA web site. The BoD must not know it’s still there.
Comprehensive Master Plan from Explore the Village
He started with Section Two, VILLAGE STRUCTURE. The first page said, “Section Two Village Structure.” The second page said, “this page intentionally left blank.” The Third page said, “Village Structure”. Bubba thought they should have left the first two pages out completely. The fourth page started getting into the meat of things. It “implied” the 2016 Master Plan Workbook began the process of considering the Village as a collection of pieces that make up a whole. Huh? Then it suddenly dawned on Bubba that the wording used in this CMP was full of what his daughter calls “Newspeak”.
What is Newspeak?
The dictionary says Newspeak is, “ambiguous euphemistic language used chiefly in political propaganda. Deterrence” is just Newspeak for plain old threatening.”
Now that is interesting. In Wikipedia it says, ” Newspeak is the language of Oceania, a fictional totalitarian state and the setting of the novel Nineteen Eighty-Four (1949), by George Orwell. The ruling Party of Oceania created the Newspeak language to meet the ideological requirements of English Socialism (Ingsoc).”
So Bubba started flipping through pages of the CMP and found some really interesting acronyms; POA, CMP, PCs, CEO, COO, CFO, ACC, and the list goes on and on but nowhere in the CMP does it say who is supposed to be doing their intended JOB. It seems to Bubba that the POA has become very top-heavy in the management ranks and some of the requirements in this CMP explain why.
Bubba Tosses The Trash
Bubba decided he had spent enough time trying to dig through this gobbledy goop. He tossed the document out the door of his workshop but missed the garbage can. About the same time, Rambo came running down the back steps barking because something moved near the garbage can. He got to the CMP and stopped to sniff it a few times. Then he pawed at it and started digging on it. He really made a mess of it. Bubba ran out the door from the shop and shoed Rambo away just before he lifted his leg. Bubba picked up the mess and put it in the trash where it belonged.
Time for some contemplation. Bubba wondered who had written this CMP thing. Then he realized it had to have been written by committee because no one else could have put together such a confusing plan that was so full of inconsistencies and stupid ideas. Then he wondered about the HSV Protective Covenants and realized that the landscaping and just about everything else in these PCs was designed to merge with that silly CMP. He also realized the Protective Covenants were DESIGNED to be illogical and difficult to understand in the first place and that REALLY made him wonder why.
Bubba Finds Cure for Insomnia
That’s it for now. The HSV Protective Covenants and CMP documents are a great cure for insomnia so I hope I didn’t get too long and boring. But, thank you for reading it and please let me know if you have any questions, suggestions, or corrections.
Regards,
Bubba McGillicuty (aka Frank Shears, HSV)(Staff Writer at Hot Springs Village People)
